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The Bag of Dicks is Half Full?
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The Bag of Dicks is Half Full?

January 10, 2012

  1. Adam says:

    SUCK A BAG OF DICKS

  2. Kyle says:

    Well

  3. Kyle says:

    I'll suck on the bag

  4. Kyle says:

    But not the dicks themselves

  5. Adam says:

    Okay but it's leaking

  6. Adam says:

    It's a paper bag

  7. Kyle says:

    So, you're telling me

  8. Adam says:

    And overly full

  9. Adam says:

    It wasn't well thought out

  10. Kyle says:

    That this paper bag

  11. Kyle says:

    What is it leaking?

  12. Adam says:

    All I'm saying is that you're not getting off light here, by choosing just the bag

  13. Adam says:

    It doesn't matter

  14. Adam says:

    You've agreed

  15. Kyle says:

    No it does

  16. Kyle says:

    And I will simply suck the top of the paper bag

  17. Adam says:

    This is a bag, that contains dicks, the state of the bag or the dicks was not in question

  18. Adam says:

    We have an agreement sir

  19. Adam says:

    Honestly the top isn't a whole lot better

  20. Adam says:

    These have been in my car for weeks

  21. Adam says:

    This won't end well for you

  22. Kyle says:

    Well, the leaking of said dicks would have occurred down and towards the bottom of the bag

  23. Kyle says:

    If it was full enough to make the top wet

  24. Kyle says:

    The bag would have tipped over

  25. Kyle says:

    So one side of the bag would be relatively dry

  26. Adam says:

    I can see where your glimmer of hope comes from, but these have been sliding all around and quite frankly decomposing for some time, there's no safe area of the bag

  27. Adam says:

    You won't enjoy this

  28. Adam says:

    Regardless of your positional pandering

  29. Kyle says:

    I'm just saying, unless you took your pos sedan off roading, it wouldn't have bounced around enough to actually defile the side of the bag facing up

  30. Adam says:

    Ok, I'll just say it

  31. Adam says:

    The bag is wet

  32. Kyle says:

    And road driving would not have knocked all of the dicks out

  33. Adam says:

    Mighty wet

  34. Kyle says:

    So

  35. Adam says:

    And it's filled to capacity

  36. Adam says:

    This is going to be tragic

  37. Kyle says:

    They would have weighted down the bag enough to not get one side wet

  38. Kyle says:

    I think, based upon my perfectly logical reasoning above

  39. Adam says:

    I admire your positive outlook

  40. Kyle says:

    That you, sir, are a liar

  41. Adam says:

    However, this is bound to be something that will be a terrible experience for you

  42. Kyle says:

    Not to mention the fact that

  43. Kyle says:

    If the bag was as wet as you say

  44. Kyle says:

    It would have fallen apart due to the weight of the dicks inside

  45. Kyle says:

    And, therefore, would no longer be a bag of dicks

  46. Adam says:

    It's barely a bag of dicks

  47. Kyle says:

    See, now you're changing your story

  48. Adam says:

    I think the act of simply trying to hold it will be your downfall

  49. Adam says:

    It's numerous dicks in a container, of sorts, let's stop debating semantics

  50. Adam says:

    Look I'll just go get it and let you handle it any way you want

  51. Kyle says:

    But the semantics are the crux of the argument

  52. Adam says:

    You can even throw them away when you're done

  53. Kyle says:

    Based upon your previous statements, there is no way a paper container of any kind could have stood up to the abuse you are implying it was taking

  54. Adam says:

    You're making it the crux, the crux of MY argument is that your mouth will contact this package that I will soon deliver to you at high speed

  55. Adam says:

    It's a sturdy butcher paper bag

  56. Kyle says:

    Even sturdy butcher paper degrades over time

  57. Adam says:

    But they're not indestructible

  58. Adam says:

    Have you ever purchased a lot of pork at once?

  59. Kyle says:

    And weeks of decomposing dicks

  60. Kyle says:

    Oh yes

  61. Adam says:

    The bag will be intact enough for you to at least begin the journey of suckage on which you've agreed to undertake

  62. Adam says:

    The fellowship of Kyle and his bag suckage will at the very least leave Rivendell

  63. Adam says:

    But I doubt you'll get to Mordor if I can continue the metaphor

  64. Kyle says:

    The bag will fall apart during its initial transit to be presented to me, which is basically saying, using your previous analogy, that the bag won't make it out of the Lonely Mountain

  65. Kyle says:

    Err metaphor

  66. Adam says:

    I will use all delicacy to make sure what remains of the bag will be intact enough for you to begin your no-doubt dangerous journey into bag-end-suckage

  67. Adam says:

    Bag-end being both a hobbit joke and physical reference to the part of the bag in question

  68. Kyle says:

    I still reject your supposition that the bag will be intact enough to still be considered a bag and, therefore, would not be a bag of dicks, which voids our initial agreement

  69. Adam says:

    We will find out sir! To the CAR!

  70. Adam says:

    (the end)

  71. Kyle says:

    This has gotten entirely too silly

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