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IM-PROV: Cthulhu’s Keeper
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IM-PROV: Cthulhu’s Keeper

October 7, 2015

  1. SicSemper says:

    Yeah, plan theta is going smoothly.

  2. WeaselBringer says:

    I thought this was gamma?! Turn off the electric fence the land-squids must be terrified!!

  3. SicSemper says:

    Good god man! There is ink everywhere!?

  4. WeaselBringer says:

    Well part of the land-dwelling transformation requires that several of their glands be... well enhanced in order to handle the new strain

  5. WeaselBringer says:

    This new species can shoot ink over 50 feet and in amounts of near 2-3 liters

  6. WeaselBringer says:

    There's a little game we play with them and a bulls eye, you know what, it's not important

  7. SicSemper says:

    I am FULLY aware of what their glands can do! Their paddock looks like a Goddamned Rorschach.

  8. WeaselBringer says:

    That's actually Jenkins' fault sir, he's on cleanup

  9. SicSemper says:

    And do you know how much that ink was worth? Oh Jenkins, I love that we can use him as a scapegoat.

  10. SicSemper says:

    Is he still mad about missing part of his pinky after the whole "touch their beak" thing?

  11. WeaselBringer says:

    I've asked him several times and he simply refuses to go back in, despite measures taken to retrieve the pinky, he's very sullen

  12. WeaselBringer says:

    I'll have his pay cut until he goes back in the pen...

  13. SicSemper says:

    That boy does love his squids.

  14. SicSemper says:

    How is their skeletal modifications coming?

  15. WeaselBringer says:

    Most of them can use their newfound agility to draw rudimentary shapes, however the leader, whom we've taken to calling “Nero” has mastered his limbs to an alarming degree, he appears to be teaching himself Brazilian jujitsu

  16. WeaselBringer says:

    We're flying in an expert to confirm

  17. SicSemper says:

    Good. And they seem to be at... peace?

  18. WeaselBringer says:

    Oh ... I wouldn't say that sir

  19. WeaselBringer says:

    Most of them due to glandular problems seem to be extremely anxious or um... how to say this

  20. WeaselBringer says:

    Sexually active

  21. SicSemper says:

    Ah...

  22. WeaselBringer says:

    Both Johnson and Mackenzie have been hospitalized twice

  23. WeaselBringer says:

    And nurse Flora had to have an abortion last week, not quite sure how that one worked....

  24. SicSemper says:

    The extra holes in the walls don't seem so ridiculous now, eh?

  25. SicSemper says:

    I was worried about cross breeding.

  26. WeaselBringer says:

    I can't see how you knew, but yes it's quite amazing.

  27. WeaselBringer says:

    Any other species we've introduced them to has not survived the process, so thus far, except for Nurse Flora, god help her; nobody can conceive

  28. SicSemper says:

    Let's go ahead and drop a whale in there, ALIVE. Give them something to tear apart. Remove Flora from the premises, do a full genome break down of her DNA. I have an idea… yes.

  29. SicSemper says:

    Let's start "Nero" on video stimulation. Start streaming the first three seasons of "Frasier" on loop.

  30. WeaselBringer says:

    I'll take care of the details sir, but we have the other... issue

  31. SicSemper says:

    And that is?

  32. WeaselBringer says:

    The hybrid you requested has some major problems

  33. SicSemper says:

    Hmmm?

  34. WeaselBringer says:

    It's gained speech and seems to think it's Cthulhu the forgotten god, and to be fair it is an uncanny resemblance.

  35. WeaselBringer says:

    Now it's exhibiting strange powers and I suspect that it is telepathically controlling its handlers

  36. WeaselBringer says:

    It's nearly been set loose a dozen times and has increased its own feeding schedule to 10 times its initial program for food supply

  37. SicSemper says:

    Excellent.

  38. WeaselBringer says:

    Sir? It seems like it's barely containable and it has grown to gargantuan proportions

  39. SicSemper says:

    Okay listen carefully

  40. SicSemper says:

    Start emitting low frequencies into the paddock. That will shake its telepathic control.

  41. SicSemper says:

    Its appetite is ravenous, I know.

  42. SicSemper says:

    Drop in a half ton of organic kale. This will cause stomach blockage and discomfort, but it will eat it anyway.

  43. SicSemper says:

    Jenkins was the one to hatch him, so get him there now, covered in ink if need be. If Jenkins does not die immediately then we keep the subject, otherwise incinerate it.

  44. WeaselBringer says:

    I will have Jenkins brought by force if necessary sir

  45. WeaselBringer says:

    The kale will be hard to get in this season but I'll do what I can

  46. WeaselBringer says:

    Sir, if I may ask, what is the ... Goal of the “Old Gods” project? We haven't seen a briefing or anything

  47. SicSemper says:

    Space exploration. We are going to the stars. We are going to shape the cosmos. We are going to fix this world. We shall show them all the WAYS THEY WERE WRONG! WE SHALL PROVE WE ARE STRONGER THAN ANYONE ELSE! WE SHALL PROVE TO SHARON THAT THIS WASN'T AN OBSESSION!

  48. WeaselBringer says:

    Sir, you're.. hurting me

  49. WeaselBringer says:

    Please let go

  50. SicSemper says:

    Ahem... sorry I forget myself.

  51. WeaselBringer says:

    Who is Sharon?

  52. SicSemper says:

    Who?

  53. WeaselBringer says:

    You said we'll prove to Sharon

  54. SicSemper says:

    Did I?

  55. SicSemper says:

    It's not important.

  56. WeaselBringer says:

    As you say sir

  57. WeaselBringer says:

    Um, I really have to find Jenkins he's usually trying to hang himself about now

  58. SicSemper says:

    Okay soldier.

  59. SicSemper says:

    Let him know, his father is proud of him.

  60. WeaselBringer says:

    You're his.... Oh my god- FIN -

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