We like to do IMprovisation, which is improv via instant messenger. To that note we've come up with several improvised conversations about dangerous activities. Special thanks to Semper (Lizard Camping).
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Adam says:
You know anything about lizards?
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Sean says:
Poisonous ones?
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Adam says:
Semi
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Sean says:
Like nausea but not death?
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Adam says:
Depends on if it gets you more than once
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Adam says:
You know it's better if we both get out of the sleeping bag and look this up
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Adam says:
I don't think it's safe to just say 'hey that poisonous lizard is PROBABLY not fatal'
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Sean says:
Well the iPad is closer to you, and I'm warm.
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Adam says:
They go for warm! Think cold thoughts...
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Adam says:
So cold...
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Adam says:
Mind over matter...
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Adam says:
Just mind over.. *fuck* god dammit *fuck* he got me twice *fuck* shit that's three, he got me three times
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Adam says:
HOW MUCH VENOM DO THEY HAVE???
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Sean says:
And for the record I said, "It doesn't LOOK fatal."
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Adam says:
You pick NOW to rub that in?
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Adam says:
I'm chock full of potentially fatal venom here, the lizard is still in the tent, I think he's just tired... but still angry
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Sean says:
Okay I learned this from an Italian renaissance physician. *cuts arm*
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Sean says:
It's called blood letting
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Adam says:
Ow!
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Adam says:
He didn't even bite my arm
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Sean says:
Oh wait are these lizards carnivorous?
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Adam says:
How the hell do I know, it bit me it didn't cover me in barbeque sauce
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Sean says:
Well what does the always truthful Wikipedia say?
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Lizard says:
a member of the reptile family they... this isn't helpful!?
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Adam says:
I tried poison lizard but I got a German punk band
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Adam says:
I think I'm getting dizzy
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Sean says:
Oh you're supposed to only let half a pint out!
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Adam says:
Oh shit I'm still bleeding
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Adam says:
Damnit man, get a rag, give me your shirt
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Sean says:
And that's my nice shirt you're using as a tourniquet
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Adam says:
Well if mister 17th century medicine weren't trying to goddamn leech me we wouldn't be in this predicament
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Adam says:
Look just call for help
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Adam says:
Use your phone
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Sean says:
Okay.... ah.... no can do I switched to t-mobile. No service. I did see a telegraph at the ranger station, let's go down and send a distress...
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Adam says:
Dude, I'm seeing double and I think I taste pennies, this isn't good, can you please go down there and go straight there and send for help...
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Adam says:
I'll just lay here, maybe sleep some, *FUCK* goddamned lizard got my ear
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Adam says:
Get him out
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Adam says:
Get it out
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Adam says:
Get it
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Adam says:
Get it
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Adam says:
Goddammit get the fucking lizard
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Sean says:
Sure.... Want anything from the convenience store?
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Adam says:
Yes, a helicopter! Just go get help!
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Adam says:
Fucking go!
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Sean says:
Got it!!
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Sean says:
Awwww he's so cute.... look he's licking me
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Adam says:
Don't play with it, snap his neck and throw it outside
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Adam says:
And.. why are you still here?! I'm sweating like a pig and why is it so cold?
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Sean says:
Okay I'm gone. Come on Mr. Bitey. Let's get the baby a helicopter **Time Passes**
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Sean says:
*panting* Okay I called the helicopter, but....
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Adam says:
Whuzzat? Whooo? Freidreick is that you?
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Adam says:
The Germans are coming!
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Adam says:
You've got to save the mermaids
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Sean says:
*slap* Get a hold of yourself man! Mr. Bitey is a Mrs. Bitey, and I found out they like to lay their eggs in the chest of creatures they bite more than five times. How many times were you bit!!!
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Adam says:
Hunh? Like 4 or 12 or hey are you dressed like a pirate?
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Adam says:
Wait eggs!?
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Adam says:
What?
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Adam says:
Is that why I'm so itchy?
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Sean says:
Yes, 4 or 12? Okay buddy grab my hand we are going to get you through this. Oh God you're all swollen. Now I have some bad news.
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Sean says:
The males are twice as big and spit a blinding venom. The eggs hatch in 12 hours and the babies are twice as deadly as the adults.
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Adam says:
That's okay I've only been asleep here for an hour while you went to the ranger station... and dressed like a pirate?
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Adam says:
How long have I been asleep....?
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Sean says:
It's been 6 hours. You wouldn't wake so I went to the campground next door and played poker with some pirates who couldn't pay.
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Sean says:
But the helicopter is here by now I think... let's not argue. Let's just go
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Adam says:
Poker? Helicopter, what? I hate you so much right now, why is the floor moving
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Sean says:
Umm... that's the bad news. It started to rain and the hillside has been flooding, that's heavy rain running under the tent.
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Adam says:
Oh for gods sake, let's go to the goddamned helicopter they can help us - Jesus baby lizards! They're so fast!
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Adam says:
Cover your eyes!
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Sean says:
Yeah this species has more of a membrane than a shell. You'll feel them more around as they burrow near your heart
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Sean says:
Ah.... oh you mean those baby lizards!
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Sean says:
Here hold Mrs. Bitey
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Adam says:
What?! Why would you still have, OH GOD MY EYES and MY HEART AND MY EYES AND OH GOD
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Adam says:
*Adam Dies*
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Sean says:
(I worry for us sometimes, I think this might actually happen in an emergency)
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