FUHNNY
IMprov: Internal Penguin Wound
Messages

IMprov: Internal Penguin Wound

September 14, 2011

  1. Sean says:

    I once ate a penguin whole

  2. Sean says:

    Well not all at once, but the whole thing

  3. Adam says:

    Are you okay

  4. Adam says:

    Oh

  5. Adam says:

    Well like what over the course of a week

  6. Adam says:

    I mean, I could eat a whole horse, given a lot of time

  7. Sean says:

    Nope one sitting

  8. Adam says:

    And it wouldn't be anything special

  9. Adam says:

    HOW LONG WAS THE SITTING

  10. Sean says:

    Hour and a half.... lots of gristle

  11. Sean says:

    Kept the beak for a necklace

  12. Adam says:

    Well there you go

  13. Adam says:

    Not a WHOLE penguin

  14. Adam says:

    If I eat a WHOLE horse but keep the head and tail for a mantlepiece ...

  15. Adam says:

    Which would be amazing

  16. Adam says:

    I haven't really eaten a whole one have I?

  17. Sean says:

    It's not like you can digest the beak... but for sake of argument I just swallowed my necklace

  18. Sean says:

    Now I know you're going to say well that's not one sitting

  19. Adam says:

    Actually I was going to tell you to see a doctor

  20. Adam says:

    That might really hurt you

  21. Adam says:

    Consider my needs satisfied

  22. Adam says:

    But you could be in some trouble

  23. Sean says:

    Oh god! Why?

  24. Adam says:

    Don't sleep on your stomach for like a week

  25. Adam says:

    It's a BEAK man, who the hell would eat that

  26. Adam says:

    ...

  27. Sean says:

    Well I didn't want to seem a liar

  28. Adam says:

    You might die

  29. Sean says:

    I've had worse

  30. Adam says:

    Like that time you swallowed a rhino horn?

  31. Adam says:

    This is nothing compared to that

  32. Adam says:

    Those beaks are like little diamond knives with an agenda

  33. Adam says:

    A rhino horn is like an unripe banana

  34. Sean says:

    Well now see what you.... oh god.... I just burped up blood

  35. Sean says:

    I'm good I'm good

  36. Sean says:

    I got this

  37. Adam says:

    Ugh dude, look down

  38. Sean says:

    And that rhino horn didn't even get me aroused

  39. Sean says:

    Is that my blood

  40. Adam says:

    It's not mine

  41. Adam says:

    Except for that old stain from when we played razorblade flick football

  42. Sean says:

    Well I think some of it is the penguin's

  43. Sean says:

    That was fun

  44. Sean says:

    AND THE REST IS MINE

  45. Adam says:

    Yeah call 811 we're in a lot of trouble

  46. Sean says:

    What will traffic updates do for us right now?!

  47. Adam says:

    That's 511

  48. Adam says:

    811 is the less urgent emergency service

  49. Adam says:

    Or is that emergencies in Russia...

  50. Adam says:

    Anyway

  51. Adam says:

    But it's just a little blood loss

  52. Adam says:

    Whoa

  53. Adam says:

    A lot

  54. Adam says:

    A lot of blood loss

  55. Sean says:

    Well I'm not fluent any more and the Russian I did know isn't spoken

  56. Adam says:

    Dear god, just rip out these floors and start anew dude

  57. Adam says:

    Sigh

  58. Sean says:

    Some is the penguin's

  59. Adam says:

    Fine I'll drive you - but in YOUR car

  60. Sean says:

    I'll lay in the back of the truck.... just get me.... oh wait I got.... oh no.... here it... nope I think its wedged into my stomach

  61. Sean says:

    I'm not bleeding anymore either... I think... is that good or bad?

  62. Adam says:

    Well

  63. Adam says:

    Maybe because you're laying down

  64. Adam says:

    Or you might just be on empty

  65. Adam says:

    Judging by the rate you were going

  66. Sean says:

    How does my face look?

  67. Adam says:

    Were you always translucent?

  68. Sean says:

    Like I'm becoming invisible

  69. Adam says:

    Well no but I think we should hurry

  70. Adam says:

    Umm, just elevate your stomach and try to bleed into your mouth

  71. Adam says:

    Here's some knitting needles, some yarn and some gatorade

  72. Adam says:

    I was on my way to grandmas for the packers game so I had all this ready

  73. Sean says:

    Okay I can use this...

  74. Sean says:

    Gargle gargle gargle

  75. Adam says:

    Um, don't gargle yarn

  76. Adam says:

    You're really messed up man

  77. Adam says:

    I think we might just want to stop at the morgue

  78. Adam says:

    I have a cousin that works there

  79. Adam says:

    The one that never dates...

  80. Adam says:

    I don't want to make things sound bad, but I think we may be wasting our time at the ER

  81. Adam says:

    Let me mapquest the morgue, actually, call 511

  82. Sean says:

    Why do you torment me. Your cousin is really creepy

  83. Adam says:

    Oh you're awake

  84. Adam says:

    Well we're on our way to the hospital, yes... the hospital

  85. Adam says:

    Where they'll fix you... right up... *tear* buddy

  86. Adam says:

    You'll live a long life

  87. Adam says:

    Playing with puppies

  88. Adam says:

    Not bleeding out from an internal penguin wound

  89. Adam says:

    *manic laugh*

  90. Adam says:

    I guess that ol' penguin got you in the end, who eats who, ya know?

  91. Adam says:

    *Sean Dies*

  92. Adam says:

    *Adam, covered in penguin and human blood, crashes into the morgue*

  93. Adam says:

    *THE END - Fin*

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