Here’s some things you can do to while away a rainy day.
- Become immortal. The fast version is disguising yourself as leftovers and writing “Expires 10/07/2003” on your ass.
- Write a story. If you start with “it was a dark and stormy night” ironically, you’ve already earned fake creative-writing credit.
- Develop hypochondria. Every body noise becomes a diagnosis, unless your skin is falling off, in which case it’s probably just a cold.
- Create a new recipe. Blend pantry nonsense until it becomes cuisine and call it something French.
- Memorize Pi. 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510…
- Abandon religion. Compare holy text to science books and hang out with “smart folk.”
- Live an elaborate fantasy (see Abandon religion). Superhero fort, porno theater roleplay, spy escape with a spatula; pick your disaster.
- Make a wartime replica of Paris during the Blitzkrieg out of potato chips and Bic pens.
- Do what I do. Read email, check the mailbox way too many times, reposition in the living room endlessly, and call it research for this article.
Enjoy the Rainy Day!
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