FUHNNY
State Superiority (3)
Rants

State Superiority (3)

December 8, 2009

  1. sikkitten says:

    how's life in the cool state?

  2. weaselbringer says:

    pretty amazing, they changed all the air in california to cherry flavored

  3. weaselbringer says:

    and now when you crash your car they give you a jet and a handjob

  4. sikkitten says:

    That does sound nice

  5. sikkitten says:

    but I don't have a car

  6. sikkitten says:

    so I would miss out on that perk

  7. sikkitten says:

    guess I'll have to wait until I'm employed and have a car before moving back to CA

  8. weaselbringer says:

    oh there's no unemployment anymore, now if you don't have a job they give you a state funded job eating doritos and watching TV at double your old wages

  9. sikkitten says:

    ...yeah

  10. sikkitten says:

    but

  11. weaselbringer says:

    plus arnold Schwarzenegger comes by your house once a week and gives you a high five and a peptalk

  12. sikkitten says:

    I want to have a job as a graphic designer, and before I get that I want to get a degree that says I can do so

  13. sikkitten says:

    though Arnie coming over to high-five me sounds pretty sweet

  14. weaselbringer says:

    that's fine, everything here is digital now, so you just upload some art to www.Californiaiswaybetterthananywereelse.com and someone mails you a check for 8 million dollars (or 6 million Euros) (( or 200,000 hotpockets ))

  15. sikkitten says:

    um, yeah...their site appears to be down

  16. sikkitten says:

    so I suppose I'm just going to have to work on finishing my Bachelor's until they get it up and running again

  17. sikkitten says:

    I do like hotpockets.

  18. sikkitten says:

    wait a minute...you can only get 200,000 hotpockets for 8mil? That exchange rate seems a little off

  19. sikkitten says:

    You know, I always kind of thought that artificial Christmas trees would cost LESS than real ones because, well...they aren't even REAL.

  20. weaselbringer says:

    hotpockets are worth their weight in gold here now, some sort of craze

  21. weaselbringer says:

    fake trees cost more because they last forever, and don't make a mess

  22. sikkitten says:

    That's stupid

  23. sikkitten says:

    I wanted a tacky weird colored tree

  24. sikkitten says:

    and found out that it would cost me way more than a real one

  25. weaselbringer says:

    although in California, everyone is given a LIVE 400 FOOT redwood tree

  26. sikkitten says:

    AND

  27. weaselbringer says:

    and your house is renovated to fit

  28. sikkitten says:

    that was going to be my next question

  29. sikkitten says:

    also, how do you reach the top to decorate

  30. sikkitten says:

    ?

  31. sikkitten says:

    and where do you get that many decorations?

  32. weaselbringer says:

    nothing like gathering around the old extensible crane to decorate your 2000 year old king of trees with garlands made from 747 lighting cables

  33. sikkitten says:

    and how do the hippies feel about all those old-growth redwoods being cut down?

  34. sikkitten says:

    nevermind

  35. weaselbringer says:

    they're not cut down, they're moved, live, at enormous expense. Which is funded by our sales of promises to hang out with other states but we probably won't

  36. sikkitten says:

    no wonder CA's economy is suffering...

  37. sikkitten says:

    Anyway, Redwoods only come in tree color or dead tree color

  38. sikkitten says:

    I want pink, or blue

  39. sikkitten says:

    maybe purple or silver foil

  40. weaselbringer says:

    I think you mean california red, or superior blue

  41. weaselbringer says:

    our state colors