Quantum Hamsters...

weaselbringer says:

you deserve everything bad that's happened... ever... especially football related disadvantages

weaselbringer says:

I dunno, just seemed like a nifty curse to throw on you

weaselbringer says:

nope just outlandishly ignorant of the effects of violence and curses

weaselbringer says:

it does? (fires gun randomly into crowd) how do you mean? (foretells death of the nation to small child)

weaselbringer says:

I'm funny

weaselbringer says:

a schoolgirl.... OF EVIL

weaselbringer says:

sorry everything is better with evil, like "The new tasty ranch-chile doritos.... OF EVIL" heh that would be cool

weaselbringer says:

The 2009 4 Door Dodge Durango... OF EVIL

weaselbringer says:

well I dunno, you have to be pretty evil to eat them

weaselbringer says:

or else there's a quantum inversion and all good becomes bad and all bad becomes lime flavored, it's a well documented theorem

weaselbringer says:

yeah... but...

weaselbringer says:

you see... everything...

weaselbringer says:

No in quantum physics it's always the opposite of the furthest thing from itself. So If you wanted the opposite of Up it would be banana and if you wanted the opposite of white it would be Robby Parker, this guy that used to live next door to me when I was 1

weaselbringer says:

Here I'll give you a test... we'll start with something simple

weaselbringer says:

what's the opposite of Candy?

weaselbringer says:

no no no all wrong

weaselbringer says:

closer

weaselbringer says:

We'll try another (the opposite of candy is "The Noble Dutch Elm")

weaselbringer says:

Okay, what's the opposite of Carnivore..

weaselbringer says:

It's actually just a 2-level condo, but it IS in El Paso

weaselbringer says:

I think you're catching on

weaselbringer says:

Here's a tough one, What's the opposite of Barack Obama

weaselbringer says:

No trick question: the answer is Barack Obama, popular figureheads with internet memes are quantumly correlated with themselves and the opposite of themselves which leads back to the same thing

weaselbringer says:

This is a rarity however as the only 2 people on earth who quantum opposite is themselves is Obama and the guy who played Norm on Cheers

weaselbringer says:

But not knowing that, frosted flakes would have been my guess

weaselbringer says:

That or the movie "Rat Race"

weaselbringer says:

Another interesting theory is Quantum Nonsense, that because most quantum mechanics are purely undefinable by standard methods of measurement, then the only way to measure or define a quantum element or reaction would be to randomly guess a word starting with "G"

weaselbringer says:

So if I put a cat in a box with 2 other cats that are radioactive, and one of them is kinda sick with a hairball and the other is just sorta content to lay there and shed... the only possible outcome is "Georgia"

weaselbringer says:

or "Grueberman" if you follow dutch methods...

weaselbringer says:

I don't mean to, this is my incredibly lazy way of writing a blog entry

weaselbringer says:

as soon as I run out of juice I'm ditching you, then posting this on my blog, then thinking about breakfast cereal for like 28 minutes

weaselbringer says:

post pictures of your baby hamsters!

weaselbringer says:

you throw mom into the air and snap pictures of baby hamsters ASAP!

weaselbringer says:

You don't understand, on the internet "Cute" is money and you're sitting on GOLD MINE and golden hamster baby filled mine!

weaselbringer says:

where the canaries are like half an inch tall and the mine itself is just a paper mache model on a cute card table where the baby hamsters can play!

weaselbringer says:

You should hella hamster cam

weaselbringer says:

The only thing cuter than baby hamsters is a entire row of pandas dressed as babies and holding nintendo controllers

weaselbringer says:

and I just don't have the pandas to spare for that

weaselbringer says:

SO QUICKLY - grab a shovel of +7 vs Adorable and start scooping baby hamsters into cheerleader style pyramids and take pictures of them with captions that say "I Can Hz Peeramid!"

weaselbringer says:

awesoe, from the makers of awesome, when dope wicked radical is just too many words

weaselbringer says:

its okay you'll be revived by hamsters... deadly laser equipped hamsters

weaselbringer says:

you should get a bunch of green plastic army men and stage a mock battle with baby hamsters where the hamsters have tiny guns and green army helmets

weaselbringer says:

but it's obvious they're just sitting there being cute

weaselbringer says:

stage mock battles with live ammunition?

weaselbringer says:

flush one down the toilet per-day until they start speaking english as we KNOW they can

weaselbringer says:

the land under the refridgerator?