Special thanks to Sean “SicSemper” Beering
My love for you is geometrically greater than my love for math
My love for you is mainly derived from the essence of domesticated pets
My heart fills with fluid causing a seizure every time you are near
You make me as Rational as Pi
You corrupt my logic Sub-Program
We will smash together like pornography made inside the Large Hadron Collider in Geneva.
Our flesh will intertwine like Jeff Goldlums body fused with the DNA of a fly in that fateful movie
I will take you out on a date so hard your body will suffer the bends from excessive g-forces.
Our love makes as much sense as a sudoku puzzle done by one of the chimps from that flight simulation movie.
Every word you speak is like a butterfly, drinking my soul
If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a sexysaurus
If you were a smoothie, you’d be ginseng and wonderful
If you were a poisonous flower, I would make cakes from your venom and poison anyone who ever looked at you.
Your face is like a barracuda hunting my heart
My urge for you is like a blender on Frappe
Our lust is like a rednecks bonfire, raging into the old barn that missy stuffed with hay after she got mule-kicked.
Your smell is as intoxicating as 27 republicans on a bender and burying a hooker they killed with a nylon ligat.
Living a day without you is like Lindsay Lohan being sober, rare and terrible.
Your voice is like Siren’s superpower from X-Men, but it only works on my willpower.
My legs open for you like Torsion springs designed to do so.
Write in your own and I’ll add them to the article :)
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