Now Hiring!

Which Skills from the following list best match your abilities?

Pointless Filing
Sucking golf balls through garden hose
Worshipping John Stewart
Licking Concrete
Flipping Burgers
Playing "BurgerTime" for NES
Time Travel
Reverse Engineering Pharmaceuticals
Helping People
Helping People Die
Marching in Formation
Voting on Bills
Fantasizing About Snape Raping Harry Potter
Enabling the Community
Erupting With Magma
Healing the Sick
Binge Eating
Counting to 20
Killing People
Pulling a Lever
Downloading Pornography
Drawing Anime Characters
Taking Meaningless Notes
Opening Email Attachments
Using Windows 98
Spraying Water on Animal Carcasses
Pouring Sawdust on Vomit
Placing Objects on Shelves
Killing Animals
Eviscerating Animals
Playing Minesweeper
Dungeon Mastering

If you said yes to any of these things you too could have a career with We’re looking for talented writers with one or more of the above listed skills/hobbies. So even if you sit at home in a dark cave crying on a record player set to repeat the theme song from “Friends” over and over again. We could probably use your skills, or at least your blood.

We are looking for writers. write to [email protected] And have your brain probed.