Adam: SUCK A BAG OF DICKS
Kyle: well
Kyle: ill suck on the bag
Kyle: but not the dicks themselves
Adam: okay but it’s leaking
Adam: it’s a paper bag
Kyle: so, youre telling me
Adam: and overly full
Adam: it wasn’t well thought out
Kyle: that this paper bag
Kyle: what is it leaking?
Adam: all I’m saying is that you’re not getting off light here, by choosing just the bag
Adam: it doesn’t matter
Adam: you’ve agreed
Kyle: no it does
Kyle: and i will simply suck the top of the paper bag
Adam: This is a bag, that contains dicks, the state of the bag or the dicks was not in question
Adam: we have an agreement sir
Adam: honestly the top isn’t a whole lot better
Adam: these have been in my car for weeks
Adam: This won’t end well for you
Kyle: well, the leaking of said dicks would have occurred down and towards the bottom of the back
Kyle: if it was full enough to make the top wet
Kyle: the bag would have tipped over
Kyle: so one side of the bag would be relativley dry
Adam: I can see where your glimmer of hope comes from, but these have been sliding all around and quite frankly decomposing for some time, there no safe area of the bag
Adam: you won’t enjoy this
Adam: regardless of your positional pandering
Kyle: im just saying, unless you took your pos sedan off roading, it wouldnt have bounced around enough to actually defial the sid eof the back facing up
Adam: ok, I’ll just say it
Adam: the bag is wet
Kyle: and road driving would not have knocked all of the dicks out
Adam: mighty wet
Kyle: so
Adam: and it’s filled to capacity
Adam: this is going to be tragic
Kyle: they would have weighted down the bag enough to not get one side wet
Kyle: i think, based upon my perfectly logical reasoning above
Adam: I admire your positive outlook
Kyle : that you, sir, are a liar
Adam: however, this is bound to be something that will be a terrible experience fo ryou
Kyle: not to mention the fact that
Kyle: if the bag was as wet as you say
Kyle: it would have fallen apart due to the weight of the dicks inside
Kyle: and, therefore, would no longer be a bag of dicks
Adam: it’s barely a bag of dicks
Kyle: see, now youre changing your story
Adam: I think the act of simply trying to hold it
Adam: will be your downfall
Adam: It’s numerous dicks in a container, of sorts, let’s stop debating semantics
Adam: look I’ll just go get it and let you handle it any way you want
Kyle: but the sematics are the crux of the argument
Adam: you can even throw them away when you’re done
Kyle: based upon your previous statments, there is no way a paper container of any kind could have stood up to the abuse you are implying it was taking
Adam: You’re making it the crux, the crux of MY argument is that your mouth will contact this package that I will soon deliver to you at high speed
Adam: it’s a sturdy butcher paper bag
Kyle: even sturdy butcher paper degrades overtime
Adam: but they’re not indestructible
Adam: have you ever purchased a lot of pork at once?
Kyle: and weeks of decompoasing dicks
Kyle: oh yes
Adam: the bag will be intact enough for you to at least begin the journey of suckage on which you’ve agreed to undertake
Adam: the fellowship of kyle and his back suckage will at the very least leave rivendell
Adam: but I doubt you’ll get to mordor if I can continue the the metaphor
Kyle: the bag will fall apart during its inital transit to be presented to me, which is basicaly saying, using your previous analogy, that the bag wont make it out of the lonely mountain
Kyle: err metaphor
Adam: I will use all delicacy to make sure what remains of the bag will be intact enough for you to begin your no-doubt dangerous journey into bag-end-suckage
Adam: Bag-end being both a hobbit joke and physical reference to the part of the bag in question
Kyle : i still reject your suposition that the bag will be intact enough to still be considered a bag and, therefore, would not be a bag of dicks, which voids our inital argreement
Adam: We will find out sir! To the CAR!
Adam: (the end)
Kyle: this has gotten entirely too silly

Adam: He would kick down the door of that orphanage and say

“look, some of you don’t have parents, and that’s sad, but I’m gonna burn this place down, and if you want to live you have to get through me..”

Then you see how many orphans you can take on at once, when they’re desperate. Sure they’re undernourished, but adrenaline helps.

Adam: At first it’s like a shooting gallery, you’re wiping the floor with orphan after orphan

Adam: then the numbers start to swell as they realize the flames are growing closer to their beds

Adam: suddenly it’s a numbers game…

Adam: you’re like the spartans in 300 blocking a pivotal point of entry

Adam: they are the persian hordes

Adam: sure you have the easy combat skill advantage

Adam: but the hordes may overrun you if your’e not smart

Adam: and don’t pace yourself

Adam: Eventually, you’re going for the most economic kill

Adam: a crushed larnyx, a broken neck

Adam: The orphans piling up providing a brief respite

Adam: as they have to clamber over their dead

Adam: sure, it’s scary

Adam: but it’s also the biggest rush you’ve ever had

Adam: you find yourself screaming a war-cry you never knew you had

Adam: PARENTS!

Adam: PARENTS!!!

Adam: you’ll scream through the blood and teeth and flying stick-like limbs of the underprivleged children you’re decimating

Adam: which only enrages them more

Adam: and feeds the cycle…

Adam: sooner, rather than later, it’s all over.

Adam: and you’re there, covered in gore and bits of the felt blanket they tried to use as a net or barrier

Adam: As you walk away, orphanage burning merrily behind you, you stop and think

“Maybe I should masterbate”

Adam: Because now, you’re finally ALIVE

Adam: -fin -

Sean: i once ate a penguin whole

Sean: well not all at once, but the whole thing

Adam: Are you okay

Adam: oh

Adam: well like what over the course of a week

Adam: I mean, I could eat a whole horse, given a lot of time

Sean: nope one sitting

Adam: and it wouldn’t be anything special

Adam: HOW LONG WAS THE SITTING

Sean: hour and a half….lots of gristle

Sean: kept the beak for a necklace

Adam: well there you go

Adam: not a WHOLE penguin

Adam: if I eat a WHOLE horse but keep the head and tail for a mantlepiece …

Adam: which would be amazing

Adam: I haven’t really eaten a whole one have I?

Sean: its not like you can digest the beak…but for sake of argument I just swallowed my necklace

Sean: now i know you going to say well thats not one sitting

Adam: actually I was going to tell you to see a doctor

Adam: that might really hurt you

Adam: consider my needs satisfied

Adam: but you could be in some trouble

Sean: oh god! why?

Adam: don’t sleep on your stomach for like a week

Adam: it’s a BEAK man, who the hell would eat that

Adam: …

Sean: well i didnt want to seem a liar

Adam: you might die

Sean: ive had worse

Adam: like that time you swallowed a rhino horn?

Adam: This is nothing compared to that

Adam: Those beaks are like little diamond knives with an agenda

Adam: a rhino horn is like an unripe banana

Sean: well now see what you….oh god….i just burped up blood

Sean: im good im good

Sean: i got this

Adam: ugh dude, look down

Sean: and that rhino horn didnt even get me aroused

Sean: is that my blood

Adam: it’s not mine

Adam: except for that old stain from when we played razorblade flick football

Sean: well i think some of it is teh penguins

Sean: that was fun

Sean: AND THE REST IS MINE

Adam: Yeah call 811 we’re in a lot of trouble

Sean: what will traffic updates do for us right now?!

Adam: that’s 511

Adam: 811 is the less urgent emergency service

Adam: or is that emergencies in russia…

Adam: anyway

Adam: But it’s just a little blood loss

Adam: whoa

Adam: a lot

Adam: a lot of blood loss

Sean: well im not fluent any more and the russian i did know isn’t spoken

Adam: dear god, just rip out these floors and start anew dude

Adam: sigh

Sean: some is the penguins

Adam: fine I’ll drive you – but in YOUR car

Sean: ill lay in the back of the truck….just get me….oh wait i got….oh no….here it.,..nope i think its wedged into my stomach

Sean: im not bleeding anymore either…i think…is that good or bad?

Adam: well

Adam: maybe because you’re laying down

Adam: or you might just be on empty

Adam: judging by the rate you were going

Sean: how does my face look?

Adam: Were you always translucent?

Sean: like im becoming invisable

Adam: well no but I think we should hurry

Adam: umm, just elevate your stomach and try to bleed into your mouth

Adam: here’s some knitting needles, some yarn and some gatorade

Adam: I was on my way to grandmas for the packers game so I had all this ready

Sean: okay i can use this…

Sean: gargle gargle gargle

Adam: um, don’t gargle yarn

Adam: you’re really messed up man

Adam: I think we might just want to stop at the morgue

Adam: I have a cousin that works there

Adam: the one that never dates…

Adam: I don’t want to make things sound bad, but I think we may be wasting our time at the ER

Adam: let me mapquest the morgue, actually, call 511

Sean: why do you torment me. your cousin is really creepy

Adam: oh you’re awake

Adam: well we’re on our way to the hospital, yes… the hospital

Adam: where they’ll fix you… right up… *tear* buddy

Adam: You’ll live a long life

Adam: playing with puppies

Adam: not bleeding out from an internal penguin wound

Adam: *manic laugh*

Adam: I guess that ol’ penguin got you in the end, who eats who, ya know?

Adam: *Sean Dies*

Adam: *Adam, covered in penguin and human blood, crashes into the morgue*

Adam: *THE END – Fin*

Adam: haven’t heard from her in years didn’t know if she just off and died like the other women you date
Brendan: thats happened once, and I had *almost nothing* to do with it!
Brendan: I mean, yeah… I bought the poison
Brendan: I slipped it into her food
Brendan: but the cause of death wasn’t "poison"
Brendan: it was liver failure
Adam: wouldn’t it have been poison
Adam: if they knew that’s what caused the failure?
Brendan: Oh sure, the poison caused the liver failure which caused the death.. but you can’t keep tracing these things back… it opens up a can of worms. Next thing you’ll be wanting to blame gas stations for automobile accidents.
Adam: What if they put soda in instead of gasoline, causing the accident?
Adam: or ‘introduced a fatal and liquid based element’ that otherwise wouldn’t have been there
Adam: into say, the car’s romantic dinner, while it signs it’s will over to you
Brendan: Wouldn’t that have been coca-colas fault for producing said soda?
Brendan: All I’m saying is that a person can’t live without a liver
Brendan: They can live perfectly well with poison. In fact, I have some in my trunk at this very moment.
Adam: while I think we’ve both proven that’s only partially true….
Adam: having it in your trunk isn’t really the same thing is it?
Adam: like living with someone isn’t ingesting them…
Adam: except that one party
Adam: (which was RAD by the by)
Brendan: Good times were had by all… Anyway, all this talk of poison has got me thinking about dinner. Care to join me?
Adam: sure sounds good
Adam: I …
Adam: wait
Adam: we haven’t discussed my will lately have we?
Brendan: Of course not! That would be crass… On an unrelated note, did I tell you that I have a friend who does life insurance policies? He will be joining us tonight.
Brendan: Please bring your birth certificate.
Adam: Oh you mean that shady guy who was friends with..
Adam: wait… why?
Adam: Honestly I’m so full from those brownies you left at my house this morning
Brendan: Just in case the mood to sign up for life insurance hits you
Adam: they were rich, and tasted roughly of almonds, although I didn’t see any
Brendan: You ate those?! Those were for Carrie. Who just signed up for life insurance with my friend I might add
Brendan: Lets move dinner forward a bit
Brendan: how’s right now for you?
Adam: But you know I keep my birth certificate in that same old folder in my bedroom, next to my stocks and bonds, jewels, and those never-used suicide notes that I wrote a few years ago
Adam: you know, as a joke
Adam: right now? I’d love to, but I feel a little dizzy
Adam: I guess I’ll be okay to drive
Brendan: You should probably drive extra fast though… get it done and over with.
Brendan: Oh
Brendan: and if you feel like you are going to crash… I hear that crashing into a red VW bug with licence plate 3HDK342 is the safest thing to do
Brendan: Try and hit on the driver side
Adam: k… texting.while driviiing
Adam: eyes.dim. going black.
Adam: slugbug
Brendan: -= fin =-
Adam: *claps*

We like to do IMprovisation, which is improv via instant messenger, to that note we’ve come up with several improvised conversations about dangerous activities. Special thanks to Semper
(Lizard Camping)
Adam: You know anything about lizards?
Sean: Poisonous ones?
Adam: semi
Sean: Like nausea but not death?
Adam: depends on if it gets you more than once
Adam: you know it’s better if we both get out of the sleeping bag and look this up
Adam: I don’t think it’s safe to just say ‘ hey that poisonous lizard is PROBABLY not fatal
Sean: Well the iPad is closer to you, and I’m warm.
Adam: They go for warm! think cold thoughts…
Adam: so cold…
Adam: mind over matter…
Adam: just mind over.. *fuck* god dammit *fuck* he got me twice *fuck* shit that’s three, he got me three times
Adam: HOW MUCH VENOM DO THEY HAVE???
Sean: And for the record I said, ” it doesn’t LOOK fatal.”
Adam: you pick NOW to rub that in?
Adam: I’m chock full of potentially fatal venom here, the lizard is still in the tent, I think he’s just tired… but still angry
Sean: Okay I learned this from an Italian renaissance physician. *cuts arm*
Sean: It’s called blood letting
Adam: ow!
Adam: He didn’t even bite my arm
Sean: Oh wait are these lizards carnivorous?
Adam: how the hell do I know, it bit me it didn’t cover me in barbeque sauce
Sean: Well what does the always truthful Wikipedia say?
Adam: lizard: a member of the reptile family they… this isn’t helpful!?
Adam: I tried poison lizard but I got a german punk band
Adam: I think I’m getting dizzy
Sean: Oh your supposed to only let half a pint out!
Adam: oh shit I’m still bleeding
Adam: damnit man, get a rag, give me your shirt
Sean: And that’s my nice shirt your using as a touniqit
Adam: well if mister 17th century medicine weren’t try to goddamn leech me we wouldn’t be in this predicament
Adam: Look just call for help
Adam: use your phone
Sean: Oksy….ah….no can do I switched to t-mobile. No service. I did see a telegraph at the rangers station, let’s go down and send a distress…
Adam: Dude, I’m seeing double and I think I taste pennies, this isn’t good, can you please go down there and go straight there and send for help…
Adam: I’ll just lay here, maybe sleep some, *FUCK* goddamned lizard got my ear
Adam: get him out
Adam: get it out
Adam: get it
Adam: get it
Adam: goddammit get the fucking lizard
Sean: Sure…. Want anything from the convenience store?
Adam: Yes, a helicopter! just go get help!
Adam: fucking go!
Sean: Got it!!
Sean: Awwww he’s so cute….look he’s licking me
Adam: don’t play with it, snap his neck and throw it outside
Adam: and.. why are you still here?! I’m sweating like a pig and why is it so cold?
Sean: Okay I’m gone. Come on Mr. Bitey. Lets get the baby a helicopter
**Time Passes **
Sean: *panting* okay I called the heliocopter, but….
Adam: whuzzat? whooo? freidreick is that you?
Adam: The germans are coming!
Adam: You’ve got to save the mermaids
Sean: *slap* get a hold of yourself man! Mr. Bitey is a Mrs. Bitey, and I found out they like to lay there eggs in the chest of creatures they bite more than five times. How many times were you bit!!!
Adam: hunh? like 4 or 12 or hey are you dressed like a pirate?
Adam: wait eggs!?
Adam: what?
Adam: is that why I’m so itchy?
Sean: Yes, 4 or 12? Okay buddy grab my hand we are going to get you through this. Oh God you’re all swollen. Now I have some bad news.
Sean: The males are twice as big and spit a blinding venom. The eggs hatch in 12 hours and the babies are twice as deadly as the adults.
Adam: That’s okay I’ve only been asleep here for an hour while you went to the ranger station… and dressed like a pirate?
Adam: How long have I been asleep….?
Sean: It’s been 6 hours. You wouldn’t wake so I went to the campground next door and played poker with some pirates who couldn’t pay.
Sean: But the helicopter is here by now i think…let’s not argue. Let’s just go
Adam: Poker? Helicopter, what? I hate you so much right now, why is the floor moving
Sean: Umm.,,that’s the bad news. It started to rain and the hillside has been flooding, that’s heavy rain running under the tent.
Adam: Oh for gods sake, let’s go to the goddamned helicopter they can help us – Jesus baby lizards! They’re so fast!
Adam: cover your eyes!
Sean: Yeah this species has more of a membrane than a shell. You’ll feel them more around as they burrow near your heart
Sean: Ah….oh you mean those baby lizards!
Sean: Here hold Mrs. Bitey
Adam: What?! Why would you still have, OH GOD MY EYES and MY HEART AND MY EYES AND OH GOD
Adam: *Adam Dies*
Sean: (I worry for us sometimes, I think this might actually happen in an emergency)

WeaselBringer

lol

Isn’t that what the chloroform is for?

I just had a lightbulb

Chloroform flavored tequila….

Striker

hmm.. interesting, but I think you actually have it backwards

tequila flavored chloroform.. no one would drink tequila if it smells like chloroform

so you would loose out on both the drunk and the drugged benefits

however, it would be easy to buy a chick a shot of “tequilla”

only to have them realize, moments too late, that it was chloroform

WeaselBringer

couldn’t you just put chloroform in a shot glass and hand it to them?

In order to smell it, they’d already lose

Maybe we need something more crafty, like chloroform coated roses

Striker

I like the chloroform in a shot glass idea… we could save on chloroform too

just keep reusing that same shotglass over and over

what if the women don’t smell roses? it would suck if they put your potential anal sex into a vase for two weeks until it died

WeaselBringer

Come to think of it… where the hell do you BUY the stuff?

Striker

I’m going to go with “internet”

WeaselBringer

Chad’s Discount Date-Rape Emporium

Striker

unless you were talking about roses, in which case a florist

I just checked, sadly there is no “discount date rape emporium” online… owned by chad or anyone else

damn!

WeaselBringer

That’s chad’s other business

I think we could make a killing with chloroform corsages

12:02:50 PM sikkitten: howdie
12:03:05 PM weaselbringer: what! stop judging me!!
12:03:15 PM weaselbringer: oh sorry I thought you were the instant message that haunts my nightmares
12:03:18 PM sikkitten: haha
12:03:20 PM weaselbringer: you’re just a regular IM
12:03:29 PM sikkitten: I was judging you though
12:03:55 PM weaselbringer: well that’s fine because you don’t have the face of a werewolf and the mind of supernova like in my surreal flavored dreams
12:04:11 PM sikkitten: or so you think
12:04:33 PM weaselbringer: whatever condemnation you can pass down from your realbrain is probably non-fatal
12:05:09 PM weaselbringer: hmm I’ve found that pinching myself is not a solid indicator of dream state, so I’ve taken to firing a live starter pistol at my face to see if I”m dreaming
12:05:20 PM weaselbringer: so far 3/4 times I’ve been awake
12:05:48 PM sikkitten: sounds like a good system.
12:07:01 PM weaselbringer: the first test run it turns out I was dreaming and the starter pistol emitted a high pitched frequency that only marmosets can hear and I shot myself in the face with a lemur..
12:07:2 PM weaselbringer: that… thankfully was only a test run, and I might add, a dream
12:07:14 PM sikkitten: been there
12:08:14 PM weaselbringer: Lemur gun… I wonder if there’s a market for that
12:08:20 PM weaselbringer: ( or an app for that )
12:08:37 PM sikkitten: haha. I would say yes to both.
12:08:55 PM sikkitten: if there isn’t a market, that’s what proper advertising is for.
12:09:06 PM sikkitten: Throw it in the right packaging and everyone will want one.
12:09:36 PM weaselbringer: packaging for a lemur gun… I guess if you sold it… inside a live camel.. that way, if you’re crafty… hey! Free camel!
12:10:43 PM sikkitten: not an advertising ploy that would work on everyone, but I’m sure it has it’s niche.
12:11:28 PM weaselbringer: inside a live baby? studies have shown that humans respond well to infants
12:12:10 PM weaselbringer: all we need to do is gently force a large lemur and accompanying pistol, along with the instruction manual and free lemur case/food pellets inside a human baby and I think that may fill TWO niche’s
12:12:31 PM sikkitten: http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2010/01/sunday-sweets-when-mario-marries.html
12:12:40 PM weaselbringer: effectively bringing it out from the niche market and into the booming, babies stuffed with things… market…thing
12:13:05 PM weaselbringer: I would get married for that cake alone
12:13:08 PM weaselbringer: to anyone or anything
12:13:28 PM weaselbringer: I would marry a cactus attached a badger trained to eat testicles to have that cake
12:13:36 PM sikkitten: HAHA. I know you would.
12:14:03 PM weaselbringer: And we’re not in the baby killing business, sure there’s money to be made but our goal is at least 70 percent live product
12:14:23 PM weaselbringer: the rest we can pawn off to third world countries where lemur stuffed baby is probably a delicacy… damn savages
12:15:34 PM sikkitten: hey, have you ever tried lemur-stuffed-baby? Don’t judge the foods of other cultures based on your own cultural biases.
12:16:05 PM weaselbringer: hey I’ve done my part I once had a mcdonalds burger from a non-franchised establishment.
12:16:30 PM weaselbringer: One time I think I had a banana or fruit or some type from near canada
12:16:35 PM sikkitten: dude, I said RESPECT other cultures…not risk your life!

2:56:57 PM sikkitten: how’s life in the cool state?

2:57:18 PM weaselbringer: pretty amazing, they changed all the air in california to cherry flavored

2:57:33 PM weaselbringer: and now when you crash your car they give you a jet and a handjob

2:59:48 PM sikkitten: That does sound nice

2:59:52 PM sikkitten: but I don’t have a car

3:01:49 PM sikkitten: so I would miss out on that perk

3:02:06 PM sikkitten: guess I’ll have to wait until I’m employed and have a car before moving back to CA

3:02:57 PM weaselbringer: oh there’s no unemployment anymore, now if you don’t have a job they give you a state funded job eating doritos and watching TV at double your old wages

3:03:16 PM sikkitten: …yeah

3:03:17 PM sikkitten: but

3:03:33 PM weaselbringer: plus arnold Schwarzenegger comes by your house once a week and gives you a high five and a peptalk

3:03:55 PM sikkitten: I want to have a job as a graphic designer, and before I get that I want to get a degree that says I can do so

3:04:10 PM sikkitten: though Arnie coming over to high-five me sounds pretty sweet

3:05:33 PM weaselbringer: that’s fine, everything here is digital now, so you just upload some art to www.Californiaiswaybetterthananywereelse.com and someone mails you a check for 8 million dollars (or 6 million Euros) (( or 200,000 hotpockets ))

3:06:08 PM sikkitten: um, yeah…their site appears to be down

3:06:37 PM sikkitten: so I suppose I’m just going to have to work on finishing my Bachelor’s until they get it up and running again

3:06:52 PM sikkitten: I do like hotpockets.

3:07:27 PM sikkitten: wait a minute…you can only get 200,000 hotpockets for 8mil? That exchange rate seems a little off

3:10:45 PM sikkitten: You know, I always kind of thought that artificial Christmas trees would cost LESS than real ones because, well…they aren’t even REAL.

3:11:07 PM weaselbringer: hotpockets are worth their weight in gold here now, some sort of craze

3:11:24 PM weaselbringer: fake trees cost more because they last forever, and don’t make a mess

3:11:29 PM sikkitten: That’s stupid

3:11:42 PM sikkitten: I wanted a tacky weird colored tree

3:11:51 PM sikkitten: and found out that it would cost me way more than a real one

3:11:53 PM weaselbringer: although in California, everyone is given a LIVE 400 FOOT redwood tree

3:11:53 PM sikkitten: AND

3:12:00 PM weaselbringer: and your house is renovated to fit

3:12:10 PM sikkitten: that was going to be my next question

3:12:34 PM sikkitten: also, how do you reach the top to decorate

3:12:35 PM sikkitten: ?

3:12:43 PM sikkitten: and where do you get that many decorations?

3:12:56 PM weaselbringer: nothing like gathering around the old extensible crane to decorate your 2000 year old king of trees with garlands made from 747 lighting cables

3:13:04 PM sikkitten: and how do the hippies feel about all those old-growth redwoods being cut down?

3:13:37 PM sikkitten: nevermind

3:13:46 PM weaselbringer: they’re not cut down, they’re moved, live, at enormous expense. Which is funded by our sales of promises to hang out with other states but we probably won’t

3:14:11 PM sikkitten: no wonder CA’s economy is suffering…

3:14:30 PM sikkitten: Anyway, Redwoods only come in tree color or dead tree color

3:14:34 PM sikkitten: I want pink, or blue

3:14:41 PM sikkitten: maybe purple or silver foil

3:15:01 PM weaselbringer: I think you mean california red, or superior blue

3:15:05 PM weaselbringer: our state colors

10:37:04 AM Cliff: So you diggin the MW2 action?

11:30:47 AM weaselbringer: it’s pretty fricking rad

11:30:58 AM weaselbringer: doubt I’ll play it multiplayer

11:31:09 AM weaselbringer: but i’ll probably do the SP campaign twice

11:47:22 AM Cliff: Yeah, I’m hooked. The whole attack on america thing is pretty wild. Not that I’m proud that one of the fights in america revolves around a fast food chain mall.

11:47:35 AM weaselbringer: lol

11:47:37 AM weaselbringer: yeah

11:47:42 AM weaselbringer: defend the burger town is pretty silly

11:47:49 AM weaselbringer: but I’m glad there’s a taco bell or whatever,

11:48:23 AM Cliff: Well its funny, you think about all the other game they’ve done and you fight for farms and churches and historic areas. Then they do one game in america and your defending the burger barn and taco hut.

11:48:46 AM Cliff: “God damnit general, save the burger barn and get me a double quarter pounder while your there!”

11:48:48 AM weaselbringer: well I’m assuming we’re defending “freedom” and not the burger hut

11:49:02 AM Cliff: Freedom Fries

11:49:22 AM weaselbringer: we’re defending our right to have people stupid enough to call french fries… that

11:49:42 AM Cliff: God bless america

11:56:21 AM weaselbringer: I believe the burger hut was bombed anyway

11:56:44 AM weaselbringer: diner also thrashed, pisstown USA will have to bebuilt

11:57:05 AM weaselbringer: Hundreds of dollars in government funding will be required before it can regain it’s former beauty

11:57:11 AM weaselbringer: HUNDREDS

11:57:33 AM Cliff: Wheres a crying eagle when you need one.

11:58:00 AM weaselbringer: or a cybernetic bald eagle riding a plymouth into uncle sams vampire mouth

11:58:04 AM weaselbringer: no wait that’s just a tattoo I wanted

11:58:56 AM Cliff: I can see it, I dig it… no wait let me get the acid then everything will make sense

12:02:36 PM weaselbringer: then it looks like a pile of lumber, acid test pre-completed buddy

12:02:47 PM weaselbringer: what about that controversial airport scene?

12:02:58 PM Cliff: Did you play that yet?

12:03:02 PM Cliff: Its the third mission

12:03:16 PM weaselbringer: Here’s a massive machine gun and for some reason we need you to “PRETEND” by killing and gunning down OODLES of innocents

12:03:38 PM weaselbringer: this is to ‘get in good’ with the terrorist, who is STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU WHILE YOU ARE HOLDING A MACHINE GUN

12:04:18 PM weaselbringer: you could burst all 5 of those jackasses and not a single civilian life lost, or you could HELP them gun down thousands, get shot in the face and start a war…

12:04:19 PM weaselbringer: hmm

12:04:40 PM weaselbringer: maybe America’s policy of ‘kill as many innocents as it takes’ isn’t as well thought out as we thought

12:04:48 PM Cliff: hah

12:05:32 PM Cliff: Well heres my take on it, they wanted you to get in close with him to figure out what was next. Maybe they thought he had a nuke or something big that could kill loads more, who knows, I’m honestly not sure if they even bring it up.

12:05:46 PM Cliff: Anyways, they send you in the get in good with him and play buddy buddy

12:05:48 PM weaselbringer: Not explained at all

12:06:18 PM weaselbringer: and I’m pretty sure he can’t use a nuke with 30 rounds in his back… which is exposed to you, the whole time, that you are… killing innocent people, to gain his favor, which doesn’t work

12:06:33 PM Cliff: What bugs me is all that “If you are compromised we destroy all evidence of your existence” that ALL other CIA movies do… I mean shit its the first thing I thought of.

12:07:03 PM Cliff: My assumption was it was a no other alternative situation

12:07:06 PM weaselbringer: isn’t the point of counter terrorism to avoid gigantic bloodbaths like… I dunno, a massive airport execution?

12:07:14 PM Cliff: Like he had the capabilities and cells that would do it for him if he died

12:07:55 PM weaselbringer: still knowing there was some guy in france with sweaty palms holding the controller for a nuke would go a long way to soothing my concerns, instead it’s “Be his friend, kill thousands… it’s WORTH it”

12:08:31 PM Cliff: *little devil on his shoulder*

This is a good idea, nothing could go wrong.

12:08:55 PM weaselbringer: little angel – Yeah, machine guns, yeah! (in a beavis voice)

12:09:01 PM Cliff: hah

12:09:41 PM weaselbringer: I have to say the game is made worth it by gangsta shooting faceless enemies while snowmobiling at roughly 200 miles per hour

12:09:46 PM Cliff: Maybe one of the writers at activision had a really bad experience at a german airport and was like “Ya know what, fuck these people” and the story goes from there.

12:09:56 PM weaselbringer: You ever been to german airport?

12:09:58 PM Cliff: lol

12:10:00 PM Cliff: no

12:10:01 PM weaselbringer: it’s like that ALL the time

12:10:09 PM weaselbringer: thousands dead daily

12:10:30 PM weaselbringer: I don’t think a plane has ever successfully landed or taken off from a german airport

12:10:36 PM weaselbringer: due to all the shootings

12:10:42 PM Cliff: I’ll have to make note of this

12:10:46 PM Cliff: Avoid Germany

12:11:01 PM weaselbringer: yeah if you’re layover is in hamburg or something like that, wear flak, go in packing and leave on a fucking snowmobile

12:11:21 PM weaselbringer: that will be the only way you’re getting to euro-disney

12:11:58 PM Cliff: Now I have the image of Mickey in the airport gunning down thousands of civilians.

12:12:17 PM weaselbringer: with his creepy laugh, now THAT would be Epic Mickey

12:12:49 PM weaselbringer: Goofy throws a flashbang and says “Garsh” before slitting the throat of yet another airport security guard

12:13:16 PM Cliff: Donald suicide bombs a concession stand

12:15:07 PM weaselbringer: which accomplishes…

12:15:20 PM weaselbringer: No it doesn’t matter

12:15:26 PM weaselbringer: I think it’s awesome

12:15:37 PM weaselbringer: I’m also going to blog this… watch me

12:16:21 PM Cliff: I can’t wait for the FBI to call me.

12:19:39 PM weaselbringer: and crotchmail.com ‘ed

12:20:08 PM Cliff: I’ve always waited for this day… my life is complete

3:03:48 PM sikkitten: so how are you?
3:03:58 PM sikkitten: anything new and exciting in the land of CA?
3:05:38 PM weaselbringer: oh yeah, they just implemented free college and a hummer h2 to every citizen, one time only, for california residents
3:05:41 PM weaselbringer: so we’re pretty well off
3:06:07 PM weaselbringer: I’m sure that backwards ass soveriegn goat nation-state you moved to probably has LOTS of great perks, like a pile of beads or something
3:06:07 PM sikkitten:
3:06:25 PM sikkitten: At least half of OUR state isn’t on FIRE
3:07:32 PM sikkitten: yeah.  Got nothin’ to say to that, do you?
3:10:56 PM weaselbringer: sorry I was beating the flames out of my carpet
3:11:02 PM weaselbringer: oh that’s a PRIDE fire
3:11:07 PM weaselbringer: we’re so much more proud than you
3:11:18 PM weaselbringer: In fact, I haven’t even HEARD about your pride fire
3:11:40 PM sikkitten: It’s in our woodstove
3:11:41 PM weaselbringer: you probably live in one of those red states that’s ashamed of themselves, that’s okay,
3:11:49 PM sikkitten: we don’t need to have everyone know
3:11:56 PM sikkitten: WE know we’re proud
3:12:03 PM sikkitten: Um…we’re blue
3:12:36 PM weaselbringer: Yeah the kinda pride you keep hidden away, deep inside, my state can totally beat up your state and ranks higher in per capita gains per citizen
3:13:17 PM sikkitten: We have lower gas prices
3:13:18 PM sikkitten: and
3:13:19 PM sikkitten: snow
3:14:45 PM weaselbringer: actually our gas prices are way down, about 2.40 I think at last check
3:14:58 PM sikkitten: yeah, ours are like 2.19
3:15:23 PM weaselbringer: and of course we have every major climate, including Lake Tahoe for snow, and the desert, forest, ocean, and mountains, as well as plains, farmland and great america (california)
3:15:33 PM weaselbringer: I think your state has snow and crap-heaps as it’s major land mass
3:16:01 PM weaselbringer: maybe the occaisional dead hooker memorial or something
3:16:05 PM sikkitten: I don’t have to go ANYWHERE for snow
3:16:22 PM sikkitten: and there’s flowers growing wild until the late autumn
3:16:31 PM sikkitten: and deers in my front yard
3:16:35 PM weaselbringer: yeah that’s what I’ve been dreaming of, sub zero temperatures and dirty slush outside my house, oooh snow tires and frostbite, where do i sign up??
3:16:45 PM sikkitten: You know you’re jealous
3:16:48 PM sikkitten:
3:16:51 PM weaselbringer: The deer are actually NSA agents, as your state is listed as at-risk
3:17:43 PM sikkitten: We have…um…
3:17:45 PM sikkitten: oh!
3:17:58 PM sikkitten: our convention center is like the greenest building in the world or something
3:18:16 PM sikkitten: Our bloodbank, however, sucks way more than the BB of the Redwoods
3:18:29 PM sikkitten: and I don’t mean that it’s staffed by vampires
3:18:34 PM sikkitten: ’cause that would be cool
3:30:31 PM weaselbringer: blood just rains from the sky here now,
3:30:36 PM weaselbringer: it’s pretty sweet
3:31:14 PM weaselbringer: we just took all the homeless people and “juiced” them, so now when you need a transplant, you just hold your skin open in the rain, we’re almost a perfect culture

[13:59] Brendan: my life is in danger… I need $23,000,000 in diamonds by 9:12pm tonight
[14:00] WeaselBringer: I have 22,222,033 in diamonds, some in oil stocks, I’m about 200k short total, I had to kill 3 people, we may need to hide out after this
[14:01] WeaselBringer: btw whats it all for
[14:02] Brendan: in-n-out burger
[14:02] Brendan: I ran up a small tab
[14:02] Brendan: now the in-n-out goons are after me
[14:04] WeaselBringer: i just killed 3 people… and stole the klopland diamond and had it cut and fenced by 7 internationally entwined enemy forces and called in 3 favors from the pentagon to get an attack helicopter to deliver it all to you at 9:11pm …. for your burger tab?
[14:05] Brendan: I made a mistake
[14:06] Brendan: what can I say? I’m sorry
[14:06] Brendan: it won’t happen again
[14:06] Brendan: I was in line
[14:06] Brendan: ordering
[14:06] Brendan: and as I joke, I asked what the maximum number of pattys they could put on a burger was
[14:06] WeaselBringer: oh my god
[14:06] Brendan: the guy said there was no limit
[14:06] Brendan: so I decided to test him
[14:06] WeaselBringer: do they put bread inbetween that, or is it just piles of meat
[14:07] WeaselBringer: the maximum should be based off their packaging sizes
[14:07] Brendan: piles of meat
[14:07] Brendan: and cheese
[14:07] Brendan: one would think!
[14:07] Brendan: but no
[14:07] WeaselBringer: If they claim they can make a 100 meat patty monster, it should have a super tall box to carry it out in
[14:07] WeaselBringer: or a truck
[14:07] Brendan: I had a burger with 28,000,000 pattys
[14:07] WeaselBringer: thats a lot of meat
[14:07] WeaselBringer: what did you do with it
[14:08] Brendan: I had a few bites
[14:08] Brendan: gave the rest to some homeless guy outside
[14:09] WeaselBringer: you mean you’re the guy who’s responsible for the 84 recorded homeless heart attacks in that area? apparently that guy shared the wealthy and I think you just racked up an 80+ death toll
[14:09] WeaselBringer: shows what being nice to the homeless will do for you
[14:10] Brendan: I thought something like that would happen
[14:10] Brendan: which is why I kick the guy square in the balls right after giving it to him
[14:10] Brendan: I figured mean cancels out nice
[14:10] Brendan: and everyone comes out a winner
[14:12] WeaselBringer: But you kicked him in the balls and then he died from rancid meat and blazing cholesterol levels… I think that’s a double-mean if anything. Possibly a triple
[14:12] Brendan: I gave him the gift of dead cow! He looked thrilled while he was curled up in a ball, bleeding from his penis
[14:17] WeaselBringer: You associate a plethora of emotions with ‘bleeding from the crotch’ I don’t think a single one of them is applicable

[11:48] WeaselBringer: We can’t keep meeting like this, people are starting to suspect things

[11:49] Kate: You shouldn’t even be talking to me right now. I told you not here.

[11:49] WeaselBringer: Well you don’t leave me much choice

[11:49] Kate: *sigh*

[11:49] WeaselBringer: What’s next a message in a bottle?

[11:50] Kate: I was hoping for a messenger dove.

[11:50] WeaselBringer: I know I’m taking a risk here, but its only to let YOU know that THEY know

[11:50] Kate: I know.

[11:50] WeaselBringer: I know you know

[11:50] Kate: They warned me about you. I should’ve listened.

[11:51] WeaselBringer: About me? You were the one with the reputation

[11:51] Kate: Oh REALLY

[11:52] WeaselBringer: Playing dumb isn’t your style

[11:53] Kate: Oh they all paid.

[11:53] WeaselBringer: one way or another

[11:53] Kate: Exactly.

[11:53] WeaselBringer: thats why I’m here… I’m getting the feeling we’re beating at deaths door in concrete shoes

[11:54] Kate: yes well…

[11:55] Kate: *light cigarette in a 2 foot long cigarette holder*

[11:56] Kate: *flick blonde finger waved hair out of my eyes*

[11:56] Kate: So…

[11:56] Kate: where does this leave us?

[11:56] WeaselBringer: With a pile of money almost as big as the ticket on our heads

[11:57] WeaselBringer: you me, this darkened dock at midnight, nowhere to go but here is dangerous

[11:57] Kate: Where are we gonna stash it all?

[11:57] WeaselBringer: I’ve got that covered, there’s a boat to costa rica and it leaves in 9 minutes

[11:57] WeaselBringer: I want you, the money, the gun, all of it… on that boat

[11:57] Kate: But what about Johnny!

[11:57] WeaselBringer: Some things are better left alone, your husband is one of those things

[11:58] WeaselBringer: I’m not being cruel, I’m doing the poor bastard a favor

[11:58] Kate: *one single angry tear burns down my left cheek*

[11:58] Kate: Says you.

[11:58] Kate: You haven’t lost anything.

[11:58] WeaselBringer: I gave up everything!

[11:58] WeaselBringer: I’m a wanted man, running scared for my life

[11:59] WeaselBringer: I’ll be lucky if I can be your consolation prize in costa rica

[11:59] WeaselBringer: if I survive the 200 things you put me through tonight

[11:59] Kate: *slaps you across the face*

[11:59] Kate: Get a hold of yourself!

[11:59] WeaselBringer: I suppose I had that coming

[11:59] Kate: Don’t think it’s the last time it’ll happen either.

[12:00] WeaselBringer: I know you play rough doll, otherwise this whole scam would have never started

[12:00] Kate: *smirk*

[12:00] Kate: Alright… we can stand here talking about it all night or we can just do it. Let’s get outta here.

[12:01] WeaselBringer: You always did have a knack for this sort of chicanery

[12:01] WeaselBringer: You’re right

[12:01] WeaselBringer: let’s leave it all for someone else to clean up

[12:01] WeaselBringer: *gunshot – holds bleeding chest*

[12:01] WeaselBringer: I guess not…

[12:01] Kate: *holds gun up smiling*

[12:01] Kate: Nice try.

[12:01] WeaselBringer: But we had a deal

[12:02] WeaselBringer: *cough*

[12:02] Kate: You promised me a lot of things and you never followed through.

[12:02] Kate: I’m just repaying the favor.

[12:02] WeaselBringer: You never *grimace* gave me the chance…

[12:02] WeaselBringer: You never trusted me from the start, I could have been saint andrews and you would have pulled the heater on me anyway

[12:02] Kate: Feel that burning in your chest? That’s what I’ve felt like since the first day I met you. You’re nothing but trouble… and the world is better off without you.

[12:03] WeaselBringer: Maybe so

[12:03] WeaselBringer: but that depends on how you look at it

[12:03] WeaselBringer: That depends on if you believe your money is on that boat

[12:03] WeaselBringer: And i’m not the double-crosser you shot me dead for being

[12:04] WeaselBringer: *dies axiomatically*

[12:04] Kate: *laughs heartily*

[12:05] Kate: *lights another cigarette and takes a long hard drag*

[12:05] Kate: *ashes on your face*

[12:05] Kate: *Johnny pops out of the shadows*

[12:05] Johnny: Comeawn, baby. Let’s go get a cup of coffee.

[12:06] Kate: But what about him?

[12:06] Johnny: Who cares. We’re rich.

[12:06] Kate: *dramatic music*

[12:06] Kate: And scene.

[13:30] WeaselBringer: can I get my PHD in Jive?

[13:31] JonK: yes

[13:31] JonK: go to sucka academy

[13:31] WeaselBringer: Does it become a muthafucking doctorate, or am I just “Straight slidin’ pro and shit”

[13:32] JonK: its complicated

[13:32] JonK: with a phd in jive

[13:32] JonK: you are allowed to say “the muthafuckin docta is in the hissy”

[13:32] JonK: er

[13:32] JonK: hizzy, excuse me

[13:32] WeaselBringer: how about a bachelors in shit-talkin

[13:33] JonK: thats a good one

[13:33] JonK: Im an english major

[13:33] JonK: nearly the same thing

[13:33] WeaselBringer: same thing

[13:33] WeaselBringer: yes

[13:33] WeaselBringer: I’m thinking a double major in Jive and classic literature

[13:33] WeaselBringer: Alas Horatio you’z be in the shit deep

[13:34] JonK: Oh snap poor Urich, I knowd that fool

[13:35] WeaselBringer: lol

[13:35] WeaselBringer: Whether its noble and shit to be sufferin’ slings and gats or just fuck a bitch

[13:36] JonK: to get capped

[13:36] JonK: to nap

[13:37] WeaselBringer: Well maybe wordplay isn’t my direction

[13:38] JonK: follow your heart

[13:38] WeaselBringer: perhaps majoring in social sciences and white power

[13:38] WeaselBringer: hmm on second thought I don’t think I can afford Yale

[13:39] JonK: yeah…

[13:39] JonK: but you can get a minor in “crushing the souls of the poor”

[13:39] WeaselBringer: what on a financial program?

[13:40] WeaselBringer: oh I guess not….

[13:41] JonK: hah [13:41] JonK: mmm [13:41] JonK: no

[13:42] JonK: I think thats the whole point

[13:42] JonK: no scholarships

[13:42] WeaselBringer: hmm maybe there’s a local certification for ‘chilling and shit’

[13:42] JonK: uhm yeah

[13:42] JonK: everyone who has ever gone to the jc for more than 8 semesters has that certification

[13:43] WeaselBringer: or is that English

[13:43] JonK: no

[13:43] JonK: thats “relaxing and other activities”

[13:43] WeaselBringer: english majors just teach english or end up blowing homeless guys for the crack they stole from the poor people who have homes

[13:44] JonK: Im teaching

[13:45] WeaselBringer: Word of advice, when you’re teaching a class, FIRST THING… whip it out, put your dick on the table and make it clear that the jokes aren’t true, that you don’t hold truck with any of that sexual harrassment garbage, and they are here to learn or you will do this again [13:45] JonK: *scribble scribble scribble*

[13:46] JonK: (thats me taking notes)

[13:47] WeaselBringer: that way when you collect homework for the first time, say “Anyone not turning anything in?”

[13:47] WeaselBringer: Then point at your crotch with exaggerated gestures

[13:48] WeaselBringer: sometimes it helps to make a big silhouette of your junk poster sized on the board

[13:49] JonK: its lunch time

[13:49] WeaselBringer: enjoy

[13:49] JonK: all this talk of junk is making me hungry

[13:49] WeaselBringer: hmm I think I’ll post this on my blog

[13:06] fritofiend: ok
[13:06] fritofiend: how do you get a girl to do anal
[13:06] fritofiend: and i dont mean forcing her hand in my ass
[13:06] WeaselBringer: hit her in the head with a brick, is the short answer
[13:06] fritofiend: lol
[13:07] WeaselBringer: but if you’re romantic, you can paint a nice message on the brick, Like “Say Goodbye to your ass Cherry, Love Jerry” if your name is Jerry
[13:08] fritofiend: sweet
[13:09] fritofiend: maybe its cos i wrote “because your pussy’s too hairy, love robby”
[13:09] fritofiend: that doesnt rhyme… that why
[13:09] WeaselBringer: with you it would be like “I’ve put my knobby in your bobby-hole, love Robby doll”
[13:09] fritofiend: chicks never give up anally for guys that dont rhyme
[13:10] fritofiend: lol
[13:10] WeaselBringer: “or Abandon all tightness, ye who enter here”
[13:10] fritofiend: lol
[13:11] fritofiend: i dont see what tightness has to do with it
[13:11] fritofiend: i just want to degrade her
[13:11] WeaselBringer: well if your penis were bigger than a thumbtack….
[13:11] WeaselBringer: ah
[13:11] fritofiend: damnit tim said a pin
[13:11] WeaselBringer: in that case put a condom on the brick and put that in her ass and then beat her unconcious with your dick, then play the whole thing off the next morning as “female problems”
[13:12] fritofiend: thats what i did last time
[13:12] fritofiend: she still didnt give me anal
[13:13] WeaselBringer: hmm i’d say its time for desperate measures
[13:14] fritofiend: sneak it in the fron the slip out and accidently sneak it in the mouth then put a brick in her ass threaten her
[13:14] fritofiend: front then*
[13:15] WeaselBringer: lure her into the bedroom with a piece of cake with a tampon on it (the females irresistable treat) and when she comes through the door hit her in the face with a shovel until one of you reaches orgasm, offer her the cake for anal or the shovel for refusal for the next several hours and eventually, like a disobediant puppy, she will reach the conclusion that cake and a dick in the ass is better than a shovel in your face and no cake at all
[13:16] WeaselBringer: From then on you only have to mention betty crocker and she’ll be flashing the rusty sheriffs badge quicker than a gay porn expo – champion pants dropper
[13:18] WeaselBringer: Remember not to let up, its best to find some bungee cords and attach yourself strategically, so that your first penetration lasts up to several days without stopping, despite the mess this creates it will generate a feeling of comfort while ass-reamed and then you can safely ‘slip-in’ during sleeping times without waking her
[13:18] fritofiend: im gonna make this a blog
[13:19] WeaselBringer: I’ll post it on crotchmail
[13:19] fritofiend: sweet

[10:14] WeaselBringer: thats right…. NON portable ninjas
[10:14] WeaselBringer: stationary ninjas?
[10:14] Rachel Rei: haha
[10:15] Rachel Rei: you can write on them?
[10:15] Rachel Rei: send them as thank-you cards?
[10:16] WeaselBringer: yeah maybe thats deceptive wording
[10:16] WeaselBringer: in-ground ninjas?
[10:16] WeaselBringer: immovable, scarecrow ninjas?
[10:16] Rachel Rei: hehe
[10:19] WeaselBringer: I should make concrete life-size statues of ninjas with bars of steel that dig into the ground and sell them as non portable ninjas
[10:19] WeaselBringer: Rich people will buy anything
[10:19] WeaselBringer: plus if you paint them really cool people will try to steal them, hence making them portable, which they aren’t, so they can’t, hence… the beauty of non-portable ninjas
[10:20] Rachel Rei: hehe
[10:20] WeaselBringer: Although ninjas on stationary would be cool too
[10:20] Rachel Rei: yeah
[10:21] Rachel Rei: or just ninjas that you write on and send to people as messages.
[10:21] WeaselBringer: they should just be vocal messages like singing telegrams
[10:22] WeaselBringer: they swoop through your window at night, hold a wakazashi to your throat and you wake up and they’re all
[10:22] WeaselBringer: Terry says Happy Birthday, in an evil low voice
[10:22] WeaselBringer: then they throw a smoke bomb and cut through your wall into the night or something…
[10:23] WeaselBringer: Fed-Ninja – When it absolutely has to be there overnight, and dead.
[10:23] WeaselBringer: no… Ninja-Gram!
[10:24] Rachel Rei: nahh…I want to write on my ninja…then they will show up all silent and people will be scared (after like, half an hour, when they finally notice them standing there) because they’re ninjas….but then they will see the writing, and it will say like, ‘hey bob, how’s it going? Thanks for the scarf, btw. When are we going to hang, man?’
[10:25] WeaselBringer: like on a post it
[10:25] WeaselBringer: ?
[10:25] Rachel Rei: yeah
[10:25] Rachel Rei: but I think you would have to use a paint brush
[10:25] Rachel Rei: or possibly a sharpie
[10:25] Rachel Rei: but not a sharpae
[10:25] Rachel Rei: goin’ on break. Be bakc
[10:26] Rachel Rei: bakc
[10:26] Rachel Rei: back
[10:36] WeaselBringer: bkkkacck!
[10:36] WeaselBringer: I’m a chicken!!
[10:46] Rachel Rei: really?
[10:47] WeaselBringer: no, i’m actually a ninja… HIDDEN inside a chicken… Suzie wants you to have a great holiday weekend *SMOKE BOMB* poof
[10:48] Rachel Rei: *giggle*
[10:49] WeaselBringer: bam, you’re left with chicken guts, a shocked look, and seasons greetings from Ninja-Gram, your local stationary ninja source