Coffee Diaries – Part 8




Me: Hey Coffee, I don’t ever want to take you for granted.

Coffee: …

Me: Well every time you burn my mouth, it reminds me that I have to cherish you, or it will hurt like hell.

Coffee: …

Me: I guess relationships are like that in general, what’s the allegory here for the burning? Like fights? Do we fight in my mouth every morning?

Coffee: … *drip*

Me: Yes, Yes I’m being silly and filthy-minded. That’s my jam. But maybe the fights or the difficult times help us appreciate the better times?

Coffee: …

Me: God, you’re so wise… and hot.

Coffee: ….




Considered Caffeinated and Extremely Enlightened

Coffee Level: 10/12

I had extra strong coffee with a shot of espresso. I think i can squat thrust a fighter jet full of wolves. I just invented a new form of math, proved that it can’t exist and then turned it into a color nobody has seen before.

I can feel the emotions of trees and teach them to love lumberjacks. I am currently levitating about 3 inches off of my chair and typing with the wind-force of my eyelids.

I am coffee reborn. All is hot and brown. The fabric of reality is my hand puppet and I am currently moving at Warp 10 (which is nowhere at all).

‪#‎coffeelife‬ ‪#‎abittoofar‬ ‪#‎caffeinatedasfuck‬

Coffee Diaries – Part 7

Me: *Spits Out Red Bull* Coffee you’re here early.

Coffee: …

Me: Ah yes, this is Red Bull I was just in the mood for something different.

Coffee: …

Me: No no! It’s not what it looks like. Red Bull and I are just friends. It means nothing to me.

Coffee: …

Me: Seriously?! Like you’ve never had Cream or Frappe? What about the time you were iced?

Coffee: …

Me: You’re right I’m sorry. I should have at least included you. It just seemed like a lot all at once. Sometimes you just want some variety you know? You’re still my number one beverage.

Coffee: *burble*

Me: Sigh. You’re the best. You are. You.

Coffee Diaries – Part 6

Me: Coffee, I think it’s time we see where this relationship is going.

Coffee: ….

Me: I know, I know you don’t like labels, I just, can’t stop thinking about you.

Coffee: *Steams*

Me: I suppose it doesn’t matter what we call it…

Coffee: ….

Me: Well I like you black and I don’t care what people think of that. Obviously we’re an item and other people can just deal with that.

Coffee: *drip*

Me: I guess I am losing sight of the big picture, I mean love is love right? As long as you’re always there.

Coffee: ….

Me: I know I’m crazy, We all get insecure, just get in my mouth and let’s forget this ever happened.

Coffee Diaries – Part 5

Coffee: ….

Me: ….

Coffee: …..

Me: ….. You’re right, I’m glad we can just enjoy each other with silence sometimes. It’s nice.

Coffee: …